Fast life in a foreign land assaults you without any regards for your personal happiness. One moment you’re enjoying the new atmosphere with jubilation then it all becomes a blur when your left in an alleyway with no recollection of those past moments and your wallet is missing. A series of unfortunate events are bound to happen deep within the jungles of the foreign nightlife, so I made a list to prepare you before your next misadventure.
- Always have an outstanding crew with you! Why? It doesn’t matter what club you might approach or wind up in. Whether your ears are enduring the dubstep of Korea or the pop of England, if the folks you have with you can’t generate any command and control soon as ya’ll walk in…it sucks to suck. It’s all about energy no matter where you are. You have to maintain a true see of fun!
- Be nice to the Kebab shop! Why? You and your friends are wasted, stumbling, babbling, and incoherent idiots on the early morning streets of madness scavenging for food to eat. Behold! God answers prayers and there’s a kebab shop open! Don’t agitate the generous Turkish folks with name calling. These folks suffer with enough freaks! No reason to call them Aladdin, Borat, or any name of disrespect. Remember they are handling your food!
- Koreans can drink! Why? These folks somehow manage to party until 6am or later then catch the subway to work. It’s uncanny! I can’t even explain it. This is their way of life in South Korea and they own it! Warning: Koreans love shots. So there’s a possibility you might invited for a couple and you could die. I have died many times.
- Soju…Why? Soju, a Korean alcoholic beverage, is unregulated. You can drink it one night and feel fine the next morning. You drink Soju another night to find yourself the next morning in an ice filled bath tub with your spleen missing. Too extreme? Remember: I warned you!
- American men and foreign women. Why? It doesn’t matter what country, because foreign women love American men. Our charm engulfs them without letting them go. We’re a bit of something new to their world. Use this knowledge to your advantage, boys. Thank me later.
- Prague is demented on New Year’s. Why? Prague cranks New Year up to an eleven. An amalgam of lunatics gather together to reign destruction. Trash smothers the streets, alcoholic odors trickle off every one, and the morning sun punctures innocent eyes. It’ll be too late before you realize you’re adrift in a sea of intoxicated Czech people.
- Foreign friends equal many perks. Why? You know those hard to enter clubs with over-priced drinks? I don’t. B, my British friend, was a seductress. Somehow, she was able to get us into clubs without any issues. She and I would devise a quick plan for her to flirt with an unsuspecting group of guys then convince them to buy her drinks. She shared the wealth of drinks with me. It’s good to have friends.