Month: September 2015

Regret Isn’t that Bad…It Builds Character

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I regret the hangovers from the years of partying,

            I regret mornings with the faint taste of whiskey and tobacco on my tongue,

            I regret my cynicism passing pre-judgement on every soul that crosses my path,

            I regret laughing at the kid that fell. I don’t regret that because it was funny. It wasn’t me.

            I do regret my impulsive behavior leading to detrimental disaster;

            my regrets play on the seesaw of wisdom and folly.

            A life without regrets…

            My regrets show I lived, learned, and soldiered on.

Kicked in the Nads: Things My Eyeballs and Grey Matter Retained from Society

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Down the infamous rabbit hole where madness and folly morph into psychosis, you realize it’s a strange, relentless world. We hunger for a place in this world; we cling to self-worth to balance out our despair. The world will continue to spin on its axis with ravenous junkies ransacking homes, cops versus vagrants, truth mutilated beyond recognition, and shrieks of banshees filtering through the atmosphere while crooked clergies from all factions spout venom at pariahs. This generation of swine, like the others before it, is roasting– the smell of burnt pork salivates the palate of the next generation rowing a coup. Enough of my rambling, I think you get the point.

  1. There’s always something or someone to piss you off.
  2. It doesn’t make sense how adults screw up children. We all know their offenses. They range from sexual abuse to outright murder. Mother of God! These ankle biters have a rough patch to cross soon as they are born into this world! The sane individuals of society would like for you to stop or die.
  3. Porn isn’t sex. It shows an illusion added with copious amounts of orgasms and hours jackhammering. Sex involves the mesh of flesh in a sensual passion: a euphoric ecstasy of explicit paradise! I hope you deviants will gain that experience.
  4. Pleasure and pain exist in life. One is not without the other. Embrace the light and darkness of life. There’s a chance it might kill you…we’re just decaying organisms.
  5. The media will continue to violate us. They catch us with our pants down then proceed to take advantage. Nothing like the “truth” ravaging us!
  6. Booze and drugs can offer a stairway to heaven then drag you to hell. Remember: Consequences are a bitch.
  7. The arms race between religion and politics is a dangerous affair. If you question these deities, you’re a heretic. As long as our happiness is kept intact, we’re fine with the mass destruction. “For there shall arise false Christs, and false prophets, and shall shew great signs and wonders; insomuch that, if it were possible, they shall deceive the very elect.” (Matt. 24:24).
  8. No one has any idea of what’s going on in life. Majority of what happens is trial and error. Out of the 7 billion inhabitants of this world,  walking trial and errors stumble across it every day. Many were conceived in the back of a sports car or at a grungy party. The problem is their hubris protects them from realizing this horrific reality.

“Speak the truth even if they crucify me;

free my soul even if they claim my body.”

–Big K.R.I.T.

Reasons Why I Write: A Poem of the Flame that Ruptures My Insides

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It’s another night when it all bombards down on me;

I realize the good humans out there keep the world spinning.

They don’t ask for much, but they get screwed over

by a barbaric fistful without any lube.

Where does that leave me?

My cynical, jaded ass continues to write,

my hope is that someone will understand the truth;

it’s my own personal burden that God gave to me to continue

until I slip six feet under.

I know deep within my mushy guts

lies something to shock the world.

It’s my fuel to type these words.

Hell, my fingers bleed on this damn keyboard!

These keys are pushed in and mangled,

documents filled with offbeat ramblings,

yet I still soldier on.

I post my “knowledge” on my blog;

the folks take a gander, like, and comment.

They say:

“You got potential!”

“Your writing is insightful!”

or “Your style is so free!”

It’s whatever to me,

I’m just fueled by the flames burning my intestines.

Sooner or later, it will burn out—

I will rise from my burnt ashes

like a Phoenix!

Affliction in Addiction…The Fiend of Pleasure

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It’s an entity with a fetish for possession. You never know when it’ll creep into your body or linger within the depths of your soul. It’ll slowly suck the life out you without any regard for your personal being. Once it leaves you, you’re in a wake of the massive slaughter caused by your hands. A terrible experience for anyone to undergo, yet it happens. Ladies and gentlemen, this fiendish entity of devastation goes by the name of addiction.

People under the influence of addiction have no control. These individuals are broken down in a slave mindset that will unfortunately led them to ruin. The addiction causes them to reach a point of no return—a loaded gun to the head with their finger on the trigger. Addiction doesn’t necessary include the gluttonous desire for the physical, but abstract matters also come into play (yes, even social media network).

In the brain, dopamine regulates all pleasure. Dopamine is a chemical in the brain that plays a key role in the brain’s system of motivation. The chance of addiction is connected to the speed of released dopamine which is fueled by any addictive substance. When a substance exits the system, sadness creeps in and the only remedy is dopamine. Dopamine is the prime culprit in the internal workings of addiction.

Dopamine isn’t only a gateway to the euphoric experience, but it’s the central for learning and memory. If a drug produces a flow of dopamine, then the brain will understand that signal as a delightful reinforcement. Each repeat of the experience triggers the brain back into nostalgia. Once the brain is strolling down memory lane, emotions, feelings, and physical actions set the body in a forward motion. Repetitive exposure to addiction causes the neural wires to mutate desires into a necessity; this motivates us to pursue pleasure to the fullest.

Sadly, if the user succumbs to possession, the lust for bliss will never subside. Normalcy is extinct, motivation doesn’t function, and life stumbles to a halt. I’ve been under the influence of addiction: an immense nightlife drenched in whiskey. There’s something about the atmosphere; it engulfed my body beyond my will. Another change of scenery included a euphoric ecstasy to take me away on cloud nine. I was granted every carnal pleasure known to man. I couldn’t get enough of the blissful intoxication. I’ve managed to control myself these days, yet I still crave to be embraced by the arms of hedonism.

In the end, addicts never win.  Either bad choices are continuously made or we become brutish beasts driven by ravenous impulses. Addiction lies between freedom of choice and servile behavior. Consequences follow every action caused in life. We don’t always make the right decisions, and some of us are indecisive. Everyone isn’t a victim of “possession” nor a constant bungler of society. Acknowledgement to the underlying dualities of the human predicament sheds light on addiction. Even if we acknowledge our faults, sometimes, old habits die hard.

I’m a loose bolt of a complete machine…